20 August 2009

deja vu

have you ever heard about deja vu?
i think i had just experience it today.
but first, let me start my story from yesterday.....

yesterday was a hectic day. there were 40 patients at the cardiology polyclinic. everyone was busy doing their work when suddenly our beloved professor, Prof. P. burst into the clinic and scolded us.

"why did you read the ECG? you can't master ECG until you die!!!! go anamnesis the patients! LEARN FROM YOUR PATIENTS!!!"
ok, prof. is always like dat. but we still love him anyway. he's brilliant!
so i anamnesis a 21 years old skinny lady and showed her to Prof.
it was AMAZING.
why did i said amazing?
because she turns out to suffer Atrial Septal Defect (ASD), a congenital defect in the heart (in layman languange: jantung berlubang)

she had been told that she had some abnormalities in her heart Valve (to be more spesific: mitral regurgitation) but she never knew that she got ASD.
and her ASD is 3,69cm! (she also had MVP (mitral valve prolaps))
the patient is now pregnant (her first child, and only child, as patients like her CAN'T have kids more than one)

i can't stop thinking about her the whole day.

what if i was her??????
to be told that you can't have children more than one.
and you can't do too much activities.
what fun will be left for me????

to my 'horror', i DREAM of her last night. in my dream i was explaining to her about her heart.
and that was what i exactly do today!

i was shocked when she came again. she had just came from the OBGYN clinic. i borrowed her Echocardiogram and showed it to my friends.
i said "look, her defect is 3,69cm!"
then, i can hear her soft voice asked me from my back "what is the normal diameter?"
and then i remembered my dream.
so i sat beside her and tell her slowly.....
"Mrs M, normally, there is no hole between right and left heart"
I stopped a while, expecting her to be shocked, but her face was calm.
so i continued, telling her that her heart still pumps enough blood to her, but she can't exercise too much. i even draw the normal heart and showed her how her heart looks like. hihihi.
her next question struck me
"will my baby suffer the same condition?"
you know what i said?
"errr......i don't know."
well, it's the truth!
i seriously didn't know whether ASD is genetic or not. maybe i should check the internet later.
"When you are a student, it is NATURAL for you to be STUPID. It is NORMAL if you ask questions. It is OK if you are DUMB. But when you had become a doctor, people expect you to KNOW. Yeah, you can play2 now. But don't REGRET if you didn't learn enough in CLINICAL. Because once you had become a doctor, there is NO TURNING BACK" quoted from Dr. I.

Sounds scary, right?
Makes me feels like i wanna be a student FOREVER.

There are too much things to learn, yet too little time!

Can i ever get through this?

p.s. forgive me if i wrote any 'alien' words.
pssttt... i'm having trouble to determine what language i should use in this entry. but i chose English just to rub off my 'rusty' English. ehe~
p.s.s. pic from here and here
p.p.s. pengawas pusat sumber. haha.
PEACE (^.^)v

No comments: