28 June 2009
weird, but that's a fact.
yeah, i am allergic to lipstick.
i only use it today for five minutes (i was bored so i've decided to camwhore wearing makeups and selendang. haha)
and now i had to take two tablets of interhistin cuz my lips had become swollen.
i hate to see my thin lips changed into angelina jolie's lips! (i did not hate her, ok. i really2 adore the sexy, beautiful and gold-hearted mother of six!)
my lips hurt so much now.
there was once where i couldn't even smile for a week cuz of the allergy reaction.
another thing i'm allergic to is COLD weather.
it's lucky that i live in a very hot tropical island.
but if i was in an air-conditioned room, wheals of urticaria attacked me.
and god, it is so damn itchy!
uniquely, all i had to do is stroke it until it's warm and 'poof!!!' it's gone! easy, rite?
i always think, what happens if i go to snowy mountain?
maybe i had to take my anti histamine everywhere
i wish i'm allergic to fatty foods.
so that i can start eating healthy foods and become slimmer.
this week, 3 people had commented about my weight gain.
arghhh... i know i have gain weight. but gimme some space, lah.
i've been trying to reduce my cravings, ok?
the problems are
a) my stomach is so big that i didn't know when it will ever feel full
b) my mouth always wanna chew something
i feel so sleepy now (side effects of interhistin)
i hope tomorrow my lips didn't become worse.
i promise i will throw away all my lipstick and lip ice.
beauty doesn't worth all the pain, right?
oh ya. i'm allergic to harsh guys too. ehe~
24 June 2009
today i feel so damn tired
but my heart didn't felt too tired
i didn't have enough sleep since weeks ago
and i've slept with my laptop n my lights on (i shouldn't have wasted that much of electricity! my current bill had increased rp20k!!)
last night, i only slept for three hours
and i dream of someone that i like soooooooooooooooo much!!!!
in my dream, he was looking for me and when he saw me, he hug me so tight!!
awww shooo shweeettt
i guess i miss him so much.
can u guess who he is???
here's his pic!
my youngest brother, alieff imraan
(yup, i dream of my lil bro. ehe~)
the short dream makes me a lil bit sad at the morning.
maybe i'm homesick
but then i turned it into another feeling and my gloomy day had never been brighter than today!!!!!
even when a guy told me about my old crush (old story la.... and it's funny when he suddenly said "oh... i know u like W")
i was like.... OMG. that was so damn lame, okay?
old crush meant nothing to me now...
syira (my neighbour a.k.a. my friend who's such a good listener) said i should be ashamed or mad at the person who told the guy about my crush.
but i don't even understand why i don't care about people know about me having a crush to a cute guy in my batch.
i guess i have changed
n i'm LOVING it..
no more bad tempered ainul. no more gloomy2 cloud on my head..
i just wanna have beautiful bright sunshine!!!!!
21 June 2009
tunjukkan pada aku......
siapa yang paling cantik di abad ini?
(kalau kau tunjuk muke snow white, aku pecahkan kau!)
kalau aku ada cermin ajaib................
aku tak nak tahu siaaaaaapa yang paling cantik.
aku cuma nak tengok
saat tangan kecilku dipimpin oleh babahku tersayang
photo from link
dan aku teriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingin sekali
untuk melihat aku di saat kecil yang riang bermain buaian
buaian yang hanya dapat aku nikmati saat babah memakai kain pelikat
tidak dijual di mana2 tau buaian tu!
dan disambut mesra oleh babah lalu aku didukung erat.
pasti aku rasa sangat bahagia saat itu, kan? kan?
aku juga ingin melihat bagaimana aku dahulu yang tidak pernah lupa menyalami tangan babah setiap kali pergi sekolah, setiap kali babah pulang kerja, dan setiap kali sebelum tidur
dan setiap salaman akan diikuti dengan ciuman di pipi dengan ucapan
“Pergi dulu/good night babah.... Assalamualaikum!!”
aku memakai baju dan kasut babah. ehe~
aku mahu melihat semua itu
kerana sekarang sudah sangat berbeza
aku juga bingung....
Kenapa setiap kali pulang,
aku hanya menyalami dan mencium tangan babah
Rasa segan nak cium pipi babah
Kalau SMS pun selalunya sms Mama
SMS babah kalau nak tanya pasal duit je
Aku tidak tahu bagaimana mahu mengekspresikan kasih sayang terhadap babah
Kelu. Bingung. Janggal.
Babah sering memberi kata semangat kepada aku
Babah pernah menulis kata2 ini saat aku di MRSM;
S.T.U.D.Y.an acronym for
Strive Today Until Deed Yield
photo from link
Dan ada juga satu saat lain yang takkan kulupakan, iaitu saat aku merasa lelah dengan semua yang berkait dengan perubatan dan terasa seperti mahu berhenti. (lihat entri ini)
Komen babah membuat aku kembali berpijak di dunia nyata dan mengubah persepsi aku mengenai banyak perkara.
aku sangat2 beruntung memiliki seorang ayah seperti babah!!!!!!!!!
untuk babahku tersayang.......
"Our dearest childhood memories have nothing to do with the size of our house, the luxury of the family car, or the net worth of the household bank account. We remember laughter, joy, touch, and the small, every-day experiences where we truly felt loved and protected. To all the fathers who make such things the ultimate priority, thank you" photo and words from link
18 June 2009
tertidur jam 12 tadi sebelum sempat aku menulis status dan menyiapkan refarat
cari bahan tak jumpe2
ni pon xjumpe lg bahan yg bagus..
so... aku pon buat tag ini untuk menghilangkan stress di pagi buta yang dingin ini....
1- Copy Award Diatas Untuk Diletakkan Di Blog Anda
2-Nyatakan 5 Fakta Menarik Tentang Si Pemberi Award Ini
1. sangat chumil... ehe~ suke pipi dia yg tembam walaupon tak setembam jaja
2. dia yang 'pakse' aku makan terung. ya, aku masih ingat ini. dan sekarang aku sangat suka makan terung! (setiap kali pergi da cost mesti kne ade terong bakar dgn sambal. fuh,, mantap!)
3. dia yang sekarang ni....sangat suka ambil gambar!!!! dengan kamera beso dia tuh! aku jumpe dia pon dia g bwk aku g kdai kamera (huhu)
4. buat part time job amik gbr org kawen (ni kiter tulun promote ni durruss!!!)
5. dia member emaresem aku kat balik pulau. dan sampai sekarang aku masih selalu lepak dgn dia kalau aku blk msia. aku plg ingat same2 menangis mase letak jawatan sebagai ALK (ahli lembaga koperasi). anda tanya kenapa kami menangis?
kami menangis kerana setelah meletak jawatan dah takleh lepak dlm koop!!!! all of us are a family and we had enjoyed every single moment spent together. ala, windu kalian semua.... :(
3-Setiap Blogger Mestilah Menyatakan 10 Fakta Atau Hobi Diri Sendiri Sebelum Memilih Penerima Award Seterusnya
1. hobi aku main game... sekarang tgh addicted MAFIA WARS. tp bkn mafia wars d facebook. di situ koloni aku tak ramai.
2. aku sangat suka benda elektronik dan yg berkaitan dgn komputer. walaupon xreti sangat.
3. aku dah malas nak tulis.... tapi aku ada pernah tulis dulu ini... nak copy paste je la.. huhu
Aku hanyalah insan biasa, tapi aku suka melakukan sesuatu yang di luar biasa
Aku suka menyibukkan diri, tapi aku bukan penyibuk.
Aku suka membantu, tapi aku bukan pembantu.
Gaya aku ni kadang- kadang ganas, tapi aku tak suka keganasan.
aku pernah digelar ‘iron lady’ tapi aku tak suka iron baju
Aku suka baca novel misteri, tapi diriku bukanlah seorang yang misteri
Aku suka main game, tapi game tak suka aku (sebab dia tak bagi aku menang)
Aku tinggal dengan kura- kura, tapi 2 dari 4 kura- kura aku tinggalkan aku
aku suka dengar radio tapi radio tak pernah dengar ape yang aku cakap.
aku suka menonton video di laptopku, tapi cuma kadang- kadang laptopku menonton ku (tertido time tgk muvie.. huhu)
aku ni orangnya lurus, tapi kadang- kadang jalan hidupku tak lurus.
bila aku tengok org yg berjaya dan famous, aku terfikir nak jadi macam mereka...
tp kemudian aku menggeleng
sebab aku adalah AKU...
dan aku takkan jadi sesiapa, melainkan diriku sendiri..
alamak dah lebih sepuluh
narsis bangat nich!
4-Anda Perlu Memilih 10 Penerima Award Seterusnya Dan Describe Tentang Mereka
oh.. part ni aku sangatla mls... sape nk buat, buat lah... hehe..
kene belajar semula
alamak.. br je nak post.. tibe2 internet aku sudah di'off'
so nantilah br leh post entry ni
terbantut niat aku nk cr bahan refarat lagi..
kesian dokter chantek yang jadi pembimbing aku
'maaf dok, hari ni ndak bisa kumpul. hari senin ya dok. nanti sy kumpul sama slide show'
ini dikira mengambil kesempatan terhadap kebaikan dia ni.
16 June 2009
what? u didn't believe me? why don't u just scroll down n read, okay?
even a single beep of my phone will wake me up
two alarms are not enough! i'm not even sure if anything can. hihi
i can't sleep anywhere else except in my lovely room
the bumpy ride on a pete2 is ok...
the thin mattress at the coas room are also 'sleepable'
as long as i can rest my eyes, my body and my mind!
too many sounds are soooooo irritating
sitting in the middle of a room filled with crying babies doesn't even bothered me. yeah, i've learned how to IGNORE things. dunno if this is good or not
just by walking near to da 'bangsal' in da hospital make me wanna puke
i can even tolerate the smelly 'diabetic foot', babies poop, vomit and the fishy smell of blood!! waaa, did my nose had become 'immuned' to those smell?
i wrote the price of everything that i bought to manage my allowance
sometimes i ask myself, oh, where did my money goes?
most of it was used for transport, da expensive foods at da hospitals n lots of drinks!!!
makassar is very2 hot that i always feel dehydrated!
i love long walks
urghh why is Lontara so far to the UGD (ER). those long walks hurt my legs!
i love wearing beautiful shoes
only crocs 'compliment' my feet
i went home only once a year
i feel like i wanna go back to Malaysia after every department! hehe....
i can't eat anywhere near blood
can u believe once i ate beside a boy who was being circumsized? with all the blood on the table, i don't even know how i can swallow all of da foods!!
my weight is ....(hey, it's my secret, okay!!)
i've gained seven kilos! OMG! this is bad....
hard works makes me ate even more! (it's not that hard, actually. huhu)
seeing people cry makes me cried
did my heart had turned into a rock?
i was in a big dilemma when a patient died. i had to be proffesional, that's what they said
but just making a straight face when someone had lost his/her life, the only thing that make them breath n exist on earth?
it sounds eerie but it is just what i need to do
actually, there are more changes i've felt since i've become a coass (co assistant) thank goodness i've never become an ass. haha
but the question here is...
is it for a good cause or not?
no one will ever know......
15 June 2009
it's my second week in dermatology department...
and i never thought i'm gonna be so tired like this!
so much assignments! so much things to learn! so much skin disease that i must identify! i'm still confused. the pics i examined in the books weren't exactly what i saw at da hospital. most of them seems different..... it took me a while before i can digest anything.
p.s. did u know that the skin is the largest organ of a human? hmmm....
i'm not sure i'm tired because of the journey to da hospital (the hospital is located one hour ride from my apartment) or because there are so much things to do or because i'm just being lazy. but i think the third reason can be eliminated. i have done so much work last week that i didn't even play any games! credit for me. yeay! haha..
gotta finish my slide show for tomorrow...
work, work, and work
oppss.... i must think positive...
09 June 2009
a doctor must be able to learn anything ANYWHERE
damn, it was really2 too demanding to know EVERYTHING! but citizens always discuss matters with doctors, from something as bold as politics and criminal... to secretive subjects of their marriage. even as a student, sometimes i found out that it is kinda hard to keep up. but that is what i must do. imagine if i didn't even care to google about manohara and ambalat. what a shame it would be if someone asked me and i didn't even know what it is exactly about! anyway, the damage had been done. no matter what is the truth, i hope that i can still study here peacefully. yeah, it is kinda selfish of me to say that, but please, la. conflicts exists everywhere. i think that we are like siblings. we come from the same roots, right? these 'sibling rivalry' will never end badly if we think rationally and solve everything the right way. so, peace to everyone! may our mother earth rest peacefully. amin.
07 June 2009
i've decided to change my blog's url!!
i hope the past will never haunt me anymore
it's time to move on...
and i know, i can't stay still and wait for miracles to happen...
02 June 2009
exam dah abes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today prof come to work with a BIG smile. when he saw me at his door, he said "oh, i forgot about u yesterday!"
i just smiled.... then prof had to do some operation.. so i waited nervously in front of his office. few minutes went by.... and then he called me to his office and started to ask questions about my patient, M. u know, pak M had been asking my friend about me today. last friday, i've told him that prof will ask me to examine him 'on the spot'. he had agreed and had been very helpful. so he was also kinda 'anxious'. dats so sweet of him. i hope he can get well soon... anyway, about my exam, i think it went pretty well. prof was in a good mood today. if i couldn't answer, he will teach me. and if i give the right answer, he will nod his head in agreement. i dunno my result yet. let's just pray for da best, ok???
p.s. i've check my blood and i've asked several residents. it seems that maybe i was just getting chubbier.... OMG, in just two days my body had become 'bloated' like dis! .....sigh.... ok, no more choc for this month! or maybe just once a week, plz....
01 June 2009
but it appears that prof is kinda busy
i've waited until five pm (from early in the morning, ok?)
but what to do... he seems busy//
today atiq said that i'm getting chubbier...
i admit that i ate a lot
i always eat a lot when i'm in stress
the nadia T asked me 'ko udem ke?'
i think for a while...maybe she's right.. but i just ignore it..
then later this day elango asked me the same question "ainul, you edema ke? bengkak je badan u"
i deny it again, saying i ate a lot n i'm getting chubbier and chubbier....
then when i walk home, i look at my feet
i asked myself "gosh, when did my feet become so chubby?"
when i reach home, i talked with faezah... and i try to do some physical checkup on myself (ala, just picit2 my kaki n tgn je)
and OMG! mmg badan i bengkak, lah!!!!!
alamak.. sakit apela pulak ni?
if bengkak seluruh tubuh usually masalah ginjal or jantung
i need to check my blood!
lps exam esok aku nk cek darah aku..
isk, just edema and no other symptoms?????
i better check before jadi bengkak macam belon!!
no, i'm not lying... mmg bdn aku bengkak tp xdela ketara sangat. tp kulit dh mcm tegang semacam je ni... doa je la it's nothing, ok?
k lah.. nk study balik!