30 November 2011

one less egg to fry

it's 2 am in the morning and a staff nurse curiously look at my face and asked 
"doctor, have you married?"
"Not yet, lah" i answered with a smile.
"oh really?" she answered, puzzled with my answers. 
"did you have any boyfriend?"
 "none who's willing to meet my parents yet and marry me, dats for sure"

she pat her oversized tummy , perhaps her baby moved, 
or maybe she wants to show me that she's pregnant. 
i continue my work...
but she kept 'harrasing me'. 
"what's your age then?"
"24" i answered breifly
"oh my. we have the same age!" she exclaimed loudly.
i started to get a little bit irritated.
ok, i know u are also 24 and u already have a husband and you are going to have a baby soon, but there's no need to tell the world about it..

i admit i am sensitive. 
but this is not the first time i have been asked of the jackpot question!
and can you imagine, at 4 am, she said again 
"doctor, i can't believe that you are still not married yet"
oh my gawd!
can't she stop thinking about it?!
then if you reallly can't believe it why don't you find some guy and try to matchmake us?

i felt like crying.
she makes me remember someone who had promised to marry me. 
but he seems too busy with his work that he even forgot our date.

love is a complicated thing.
and marriage needs such a chemistry to work.
so please give me more time to enjoy my single, unattached and free life.

at least i can go back home, playing games and not think of any other tummy to feed.
just like one song i heard in one episode of Glee series
one less bell to answer.
one less egg to fry.
i should be happy, right?

22 November 2011


december is peeking through a sheer curtain.
the smell of new year had already filled my nostrils.
owh my.

didn't  realize that i had been working for almost a year.
me n my lil bro, Alip Golip
p.s. mane shift allowance nih? x masuk2 pon =(

21 November 2011

this is why you must drive safely

today i would like to tell a story of a guy called Mr. N. 
Mr. N. is a 28 years old, a happily married man and a proud father of his 6 months old baby.
but i don't think he can see his kid walk.
i'm not even sure he can hear her call him daddy.
today his mother asked me his progress.
i had explained to her, the prognosis is very poor.
but i am not The Almighty, for He is the one who gave life, and He can take it back whenever He wants.
tears welling in her eyes...........
i am sure that it is very hard to accept the truth, that sometimes they seems to forgot what i had told them and i had to repeat the same thing all over again.
"i am so sorry, auntie. he might get better. but he might be like this till the end of his life."
that may sound harsh. but i believe that getting prepared for the worst help family to accept the bitter truth.
his wife, though i know that it might be hard for her, always smile to us.
"she is such a strong person" i said to myself.

i look at Mr N, who is still alive yet not speaking.
his eyelids were never lifted, as if they were glued together.
 He breathes deeply through the small hole on his throat (via tracheostomy), and his body is shivering due to fever that spikes so high.

there is nothing more devastating than seeing him, getting worser day by day.
one day before the tragedy, everything was just like a normal day.  breakfast with his lovely wife. a warm kiss on his daughter's cheek and getting ready for work as usual.

but who knows that he will be involved in an accident that breaks his skull? who knows that he will develop intracranial bleeding?

alive yet unable to communicate.
alive yet unable to move.


Mr N is actually only one of many victims of MVA (motor vehicle accident) that becomes vegetable.
of course, some of them improves.
(i even almost cried when one of them lift up his hand and wipe away his saliva. the previous week, he couldn't even open his eyes!)

they were from different stories, different races, different family, yet they presented with almost the same way: MVA with intracranial bleed.

so please. please drive safely.

p.s. a boy just came in yesterday after his motorbike hit the cow. now questions raised was 'how's the cow?', and not 'how are you?' thankfully he only develop a minor concussion.. ehe~

someone like you

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now
I heard that your dreams came true
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/adele-lyrics/someone-like-you-lyrics.html]
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me, it isn't over yet

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

p.s. saje melayan blues tengah2 malam. ehe~

21 October 2011

aku, dia dan cinta

my fav keychain... can't resist to buy this cute bling2 bear!!
Scenario  1
A: u, i risau la.
D: risau ape?
A: i risau i x kawen2
D: kenapa u cakap macam tu? mesti akan ade orang akan suka kat u..
A: tapi u pun xnak kawen dengan i kan?
D: (diam)
ok, tarik balik kata2 terakhir. tak sepatutnya cakap macam tu kat boyfriend orang.

Scenario 2
J: u kan girlfriend i
A: bile pulak i jadi gf u?
J: sejak kite makan same2 kat pizza hut
A: kalau u bf i, u lah bf yang paling sengal dalam dunia. sebulan sekali je kot u contact i
J: i tau. i memang tak guna. tapi u pun takkan boleh lupakan i, kan?
eeee benci betul dia ni.
tp apa yang dia cakap memang betul. haish

on the way

They  are already there
But we are still here

They had arrived
But we always get lost in the middle of the track

And somehow,
some way..

we managed to get back on the right path

I remember your arrogance,
the limp dat u've tried to hide
And the mistake that were forgiven yet never forgotten

Where are all of this heading?
We re definitely on the way
But to glory or fall????

I'm not sure
And neither do you!

15 October 2011

i'm a doctor but i have no money and no life!

frankly speaking, dat's kinda the situation i am in now......
dat's the effect of working too much and spending too much!

i think i had to use the tip someone gave me: "save first! not later"

i've been working for 7 months now and truthfully, i had not save even a single penny. 
maybe, maybe i wasn't aware of the future.
yeah, i've been wasting too much money until the lightning struck me.
remember my accident on the first day of raya?
turns out the insurance company did not cover the whole expenses!
owh my, i was so damn shocked.
there goes all of my money.
with no more on call money, my expenses went up to hill and my savings went downhill...
this is unbelievable...

people always thought that we got a  raise.
but people,couldn't you see that the fact there is no more on call money?????
okay i am being fanatic now.

i'm a lil bit upset with myself.
but i got a new promise to my own self.
and i will make sure that i'll act wiser next time...


09 October 2011

astronaut baby

as usual, i always peek into the baby's room while i'm working at Labour Room..
nothing feels more refreshing than to play with those little newbies!!
and this 2 babies look like an astronaut, right???
so damn cute!!! huuuu
thank you for making my day, babies!!!
happy je walaupon kje penat... hehehehheeee

btw nurses selalu tegur i rajin pakai tudung lilit2...
tak susah lah kak..
tauk atas kepala, pusing2 lepas tu pin.

p.s. baru je tau anak Angkasawan pertama Malaysia lahir sehari sebelum birthday saya, iaitu pada 21 Julai 2011... owh baby July mantap!!!! ehe~

03 October 2011

lego lego cinta

satu persatu tersusun rapi
melapisi papan hijau
satu persatu saling bertindih
menjadi sebuah mahligai indah

2 tahun berlalu
sekejap terbina,
sekejap runtuh
sekejap tersergam megah

sekejap hancur, 
berserakan di lantai

lego lego cinta...
antara kau dan aku

entah hancur atau terbina
tiada kepastian

kenapa dibina kalau hanya untuk dimusnahkan??

saat hati mula memaafkan
kau diam menyepi...
aku di sini setia menanti...
panggilan yang tak terjawab
dan pesanan tak terbalas..

 nak mintak tolong boleh tak? 

tolong jangan datang dan pergi sesuka hati!

15 September 2011


awak, awak sayang saya tak?


sayang macam mane?

macam dinosaur.

errkk... kenapa dinosaur? 
(dinosaur garang dan makan orang!!!!)

sebab dinosaur besar, lah!

owh sebab tu ke (lega)

p.s. tibe2 rase dinousaur pon boleh nampak comel eyh?

08 September 2011


rasanya belum terlambat nak ucap Selamat Hari Raya kepada semua.
tahun ni saya ber'pagi raya' di hospital...
tapi masih 'maintain' ceria'

yang kurang 'best'nya, sy accident pada hari raya pertama!
sayalah antara orang yang menambahkan bilangan 'ops sikap' tahun ni... hiks
sorry encik. lepas ni taubat dah taknak buat lagi...

tapi tetap meriah,apa lagi untuk 'cousin2' ku sebab tahun ni bertambah orang yang kene bagi duit raya (saya lah orangnye.. huuu)

nanti ade mase sy upload gbr raya lg ye...
oklah. nak bersiap pergi kerja dulu..
harini kerja malam.
agak pelik pergi kerja time tido.

28 August 2011

alkisah satu malam

Harini aku on call.
Alhamdulliah semua ok je walaupun awal2 ade 2 pt kne operate gara2 breech presentation dan footling presentation..
Haru betul bila aku buat VE (vaginal examination) dan rasa kaki baby kt bawah padahal pintu rahim dah bukak 6cm... kelam kelibut sekejap...
Suasana hospital harini agak lengang.

 Mungkin semua dh blk kmpg.

Tp td ade satu pt aku dr putrajaya.. kmpg kt melaka.. dh sampai kampung dah pun.. hehehehehe

Oleh krn x bnyk org suasana jd sejuk gila...

Td time aku nk pergi bilik linen cr selimut, tibe2 nmpk specialist aku bwk 3 selimut.. Spontan aku ketawa... Lps tu dia tanye aku "kenapa?"
"Sy pun cr selimut" jwb aku tersipu2..
Nasib baik specialist aku sporting...
Dia pon tido kt spital xleh blk...

P.s. Cptla kul 7 pg.. Dh kje dr 7pg smlm ni... Huhuuuuu

1.45am, 28/8/11

19 August 2011

life is a learning process

i was presenting my case when suddenly my specialist interupt me,
"your presentation had improved so much than few weeks back" she said.
i feel honoured!
you never know how much i hate myself when she scrutinize everything i said previously.
but now i am so fond of her.
seriously, i think i'm gonna miss her (this is my last week in her ward).

being a doctor, u had to learn and improve your skill everyday..
and it's like u are a student but u had your own responsibility also.
as usual, i enjoyed working in labor room just like i used to be when i was in Indonesia.
people may say our workload may aged us, but i think if we work with a smile and high spirit, nothing will seems too hard.
last night when i was on call, two of my patients was surprised dat i'm so young (is 24 years old young?) and one of them had even thought that i'm a student. i was confused. i think dat i doesn't look dat young.
but she said dat i look so enthusiastic and she loves to see a doctor smile.
well, she's having a new child, who wouldn't be so excited, right??
p.s. i really adore men who be by his wife's side when she's in labour.
it is so romantic.. ehe~

it's amazing how a simple smile create an enlightening situation.

i promise i'll try to keep on smiling..

14 August 2011

i fell in love with a froggie

it was already afternoon...
my mood was swinging upside down dat i finally decided to grab some colorful stuffs to wear.

then i went out to see my lil sis at her MRSM.
suddenly i heard some boiling noise in my car (yup, BOILING noise!)
owh my...
after some counsel from my parents via phone, problems solved just by adding water into my engine cooler!
the day was hot and i went out shopping with my sis.
and you know what?
i saw the froggie again.
i had been eyeing on him since few months ago 
and i can't take my eyes away from him since the first time i saw him.
my subconscious were fighting
             subconscious A: come on. take him!
             subconscious B: u don't need him... back off!!
             subconscious A: but he's too cute!!!!
             subconscious B: what does the term "u don't need him" dat  
                                    u didn't understand?
             subconscious A: i don't care! he only cost RM 5, lah!

and at last, A wins!

Mr. Froggie is very damn cute, aite?
seronok kura2 saya berenang dalam kolam baru

12 August 2011


hye everyone.
how's everyone holding up in this Ramadhan?
i'm sure everyone is alright though it's freaking hot here in Malaysia nowadays.
you know what? 
truthfully, i didn't even feel like it is a Ramadhan when i was working.
people were eating freely as the wish.
i mean, i can understand if my patients' did not 'fast'. most of them are preggies and in labor (i'm in OnG department now). 
even the hospital did not prepare sahur food (we get free foods during sahur when i was in Indonesia)
and most of the lunches that they prepared for us were thrown in the dustbin.
what a waste!

i really miss the Ramadhan in Indonesia.
there will be banners everywhere (and Raya wishes as well, even though Ramadhan had just started)
Most of the restaurant's windows are covered with curtains or white clothes, so that you can't see the people eating inside.
one of example where a food court is covered with a red curtain.

in Malaysia, people just ate openly even if it's a Ramadhan month. 
no veil nor curtains *sigh*
i think those five years fasting in Indonesia had made me forgot all about the Ramadhan month in Malaysia. 
except for the bazar Ramadhan and the tarawikh, nothing else makes me feel like this is a Ramadhan month.
or maybe it is just me who feels that way.  

p.s. had a delicious Nasi Lemak kukus yesterday! 
this make up for the 'tasteless' nasi kerabu that i bought before this.
i wonder why most of the foods at the Bazar doesn't taste as good as they seems? 
maybe i should start to learn how to cook.

30 July 2011


hari ni best je..
bangun pagi2 tak payah mandi awal2.
x payah pergi hospital.
tengok dapur mama tengah masak mee goreng......

babah kopek durian...
(pagi2 dah makan durian? eh?) 

dan lepas ni nak pergi shopping! 

(tp esok on call. kene sahur kat hospital.hiks)

apapun di kesempatan ini, saya nak ucapkan,
Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan!
 jangan tinggal puasa ye..

22 July 2011

they lie when they said age does not matter

one day, during rounds, my specialist said to a patient
"wow, u are 24 and u already have 3 kids!"
then she turned to my friend and asked her,
"a*****, how old are you?"
"24, doctor" answered my friend with a sheepish smile.

so here we are, looking at two woman with the same age 
(three if include me. i'm 24 too!)

one with 3 kids

and me and my colleague had not even married yet.


you know what?

as we were getting older, the tension build up.

posting in OnG makes me day dream too much.
but i know i had to step my foot on the reality.
though seeing others had completed their life by marrying their love ones and have their own children, rushing will only cause disaster.

so here i am.
enjoying my own sweet time.
InsyaALLAH the right time will come and the right moment.
and then everything will be purrfect!

i still remember a moment where i feel so complete,
when i suddenly said to someone "don't leave me"
i don't know why i said that.
but i'm silently wishing that he's mine, forever.

20 July 2011

now i know why it is more important than money

imagine trapped in a capsule of time,
where you can see the outside but no one can hear you....

sometimes it feels like my wing was broken
which is kinda weird.. (cause I don't even have wings. ehe.)

this few days i have a feeling that i procrastinate too much!
no matter how much time i was given, it is always not enough.
and in the end, i found myself so frustrated and agitated!

so i set a new goal, as i'm approaching 24 years old soon, not to let things behind and prioritize on the right thing.

all work and no play makes jack a dull boy 
but all play and no work makes me a dumb doctor!

i got more time in this department,
i mean, i can finally went back home at 5pm! *wow*
but i found myself being such a couch potato and a hibernating bear.

no matter how much time i given it is still not enough.
money can be find. 
but where in the hell can you replace all of the lost time?
now i know why TIME is more important than money...

16 July 2011

u r my muse, aint ya?

you know what?
there's a highlight of my day today...
i was silent, sitting beside you while thinking how reluctant i am to let you go home when suddenly u said
'don't worry. i will come again to meet you'
as if u can read my mind!


did you know how i long for you to say dat u love me?

did you know what was running in my mind when we walk around the wedding exhibition today?

did you know how i enjoy being by your side?

and did you know that when you make me laugh, i feel like i can't just get enough of you?

oh how i wish i could tell you all this.

but u make me speechless.

i am so afraid to love cuz i can't accept to lose someone anymore.
and when u make me like u even more, i feel like crying.

for the millionth times, 
i make a silent wish, 
please stay in my chapter of live, will you?

15 July 2011

tag until u drop!

tagging is such a tiring process.
everyday i can only go back home at 10pm, which is so damn tiring.
last night i even slept on my sofa without even showering.
sofa saye warne merah! wuuu
and when i woke up at 4 am, i was like "alamak. tertido atas sofa lah" *tepuk dahi geleng kepala*
but today i am so excited as i've passed my assesment.
which means i can finally go back at 5 pm tomorrow!
i can't wait to go back at 5 pm (i never went back home at 5pm before this)

first thing i'll do tomorrow : pay my BIS (blackberry internet service)
me n my torchie ^wink^

ngeh ngeh ngeh

senyum lebar gila sebab dah habis tagging..